Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
