You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
