The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
