I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
