Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
