What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize