I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.