I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
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thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
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I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME