I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.