this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize