My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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