You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize