ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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