I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.