birth control should be required to get into college
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
