theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I lost the right to judge tonight
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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