my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i've created a new STD.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize