I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
