Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
