I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
