check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
