You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I smell like Dick and happiness
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
