took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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