he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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