On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize