Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
