Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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