The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
