What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
