There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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