How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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