This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
