Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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