After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
