Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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