i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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