I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
