No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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