OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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