twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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