Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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