Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
