I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I need to sanitize my soul.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
