there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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