On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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