tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize