please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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