I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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