Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
