So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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