I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
