obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
