He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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