I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
