You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
