she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
