Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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