i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just found puke in my bra..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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