If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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