My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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