So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Hippo gnu deer
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
