Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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