There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize