My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize