Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
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