HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
