Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
