I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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