I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
