Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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