Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize